A few years ago, we stopped at a lovely children's museum on our way home from vacation. There were animals, outdoor walks, nature and programs to listen to. The one thing I saw that I can't tolerate: a nest of snakes that you could see through plexiglass.
Nest. Snakes. Those two words should never be used together in my humble opinion. I leave the room when nature shows even mention the two words anywhere close...they may be talking about snakes one hour, and a cute nest of birds soon after, but I hear the two words and I'm g.o.n.e.
Two words came together (sensing a theme here yet?) that I also have always believe should never have to be uttered together: snake. house.
Snake in the house. House with a snake in it. MY HOUSE WITH A SNAKE IN IT.
Yes. And worse yet, I carried it in a huge load of dirty sports/workout clothes from my basement, two flights of steps, to my laundry area. And it sat there for 45 minutes, waiting for the washer to be available. Picked up one piece and. yep. Snake in my house.
So I did what this mom does best in that situation: I screamed.
The cat and dog didn't seem to care. The neighbors couldn't hear. I couldn't get to the phone without taking my eye off the darn thing. I was frozen. Me and snaky were in a standoff stareoff.
So, I thought, if I take my eye off of it (which I really, really wanted to do), or if I move (really, really), or ran out (really, really really), that thing would be in my closet. Or bedroom. Or my bed.
OK, add that to the two word list: snakes. bed.
I was stuck in a hallway with no weapons. clothes, laundry detergent, plastic hangers. Nothing. OK, one basket. Put the basket on the floor and hope for the best. Cringe and shiver. Shiver and cringe watching it start to move and slither.
But it was moving and slithering into the basket. I ran (I think I was still screaming) and out the front door and that snake went for a small unscheduled flight across my front yard.
Deal: done.
Then I left home.
And I'm hoping those two words never, ever work their way into my vocabulary ever again.
I used to have a convertible before kids. One afternoon, my sis & I were cruising thru the mountains when a hawk carrying a snake in his talons came dangerously close to us. By dangerously close, I mean I almost hit a freakin tree. We were screaming & sweating bullets hoping the hawk wouldn't drop the stupid snake. False alarm. Thank God.
ReplyDeleteFor me, it's "snake" and "you," as in "John, you snake!"
ReplyDeleteAlways a bad sign when I hear that.