Floor.....Fail.

The carpet is being ripped up, so it's time (don't you think?) to get some new flooring in here.  The problem is the match up: trying to match floors in a very open floor to some that are 19 years old and and another space that is 9 years old.  My ex-boss used to say there are no problems, only challenges. 

Well, people, this is a challenge.  No one makes the exact type of floor we are trying to match.  I splurged for a $75 design consult (very, very much worth it!**) and got the go ahead to just get close, and don't sweat the minor differences. 

But this isn't close:

The flooring underneath is the dining room and living room original hardwood floor.  The floor in the bottom right area is what we added to the kitchen when we moved in (9 years ago), which was a pretty good match, even though it was not a solid wood product.  The rest you can see is the sample box we bought hoping it would match....and it doesn't. 

 Not

 ....from.....

....any angle.

 

I tried it at night, I tried it at day, I tried it in front and I tried it in back.  No go.

 

But the good news in all of this is that we've found someone that is really working hard with us to figure this out!   Ed from the local Carpet Plus store is all in, and I feel confident we will find an answer with his help.

 

So for now we live with a bit of plastic on the floor and part carpet-part padding, and yes, it is driving me crazy.  But we're getting there.  I have high hopes!

**  The designer I am working with is Ami at Embellish Interiors: check out her blog for some wonderful photos of her work!  She and I brainstormed for an hour and I'm so excited to see how things turn out!  Her reasonable fees are well worth the peace of mind when you're working on an expensive project, as these floors are turning out to be.  I can rip up carpet and tack strips, and the money I'll save there is well spend on professional input!

Flipping a house

No, I'm not yet flipping a house, but oh how I would love to do that!

In the meantime, I'm going to "flip" this house.  We're not sprucing up and selling out, but instead flipping rooms around to make this space more usable. 

We're not formal type of people at all....if you've hung out with us much at all, you're more likely to be out on the porch picking some blue crabs, in inside with 50 of our closest friends sharing a bowl of chili in the winter...finding your own best spot to sit and eat for a bit. 

As much as we love this house, the front half of the first floor is not really lived in or used the way it's set up.   Here is the current scheme:

 I realize it's hard to see (for my first Floorplanner project though, I'm pretty happy it's even recognizable as a house!)  We live in the back of the house (kitchen and family room).

   The big takeaway here: see the huge green space bottom right?  That's the "formal living room" aka the big black hole of nothingness.  It's the largest room on the first floor and the most unused.   And the formal dining room is a Lego table/aka work table for mom/mishmash of some pretty nice family pieces that could be put to better use.  I have an office space upstairs, but I'd rather be down here closer to the "action" even when I'm working.  And if we put that space to better use, we might actually be able to have a guest room with a BED upstairs! 

So here's what I'm thinking: The living room is empty except for floor to ceiling bookcases and the piano.  By moving the dining room table into this larger space, guests that are at the table and in the family room can all be enjoying each other's company.  And if the boy wants to play Lego's, he will have plenty of table space to play and room on the shelves for storage.  Move in a comfy chair or tow, another small game table, and that room becomes functional.

Now what, you might ask, happens to the dining room?  That room is much smaller, so I'd like to move the 1000 pound piano in there (you think I kid, I don't), and then build in a desk/craft work area in the corner between the stairs and the kitchen.  The smallest room downstairs (and the most cut off) becomes of quiet office/music room, and the larger spaces that are more connected with large openings become more tied in and user friendly. 

That's the plan to flip this house. 

  Step one has already taken place: the divider/shelf that cut off the family room from the kitchen is gone.  I destructed that over the last week and it is either in the trash, the pile for the Habitat Store, or my pile to rebuild a new cubby shelf for the living room.   Pictures are coming!

A house invasion

My friend A and I can spend hours in the afternoon talking house design and colors, furniture placement and paint colors.  Our boys can spend the same amount of time on video games and who knows what else, so it works out to always be a fun afternoon when we hang out together.  We try to solve a few of the world's problems along the way, but mostly we just picked a paint color for her son's room.

 

When she told me she had settled on brown and red in her family room, I'll be honest, I just couldn't picture it.  When I did see it for the first time, I fell in love.

 

It's such a warm and cozy space, and so inviting for a family (and friends!) to curl up and feel right at home. 

She carries out the accents of red not only in the curtains, but also in accessories like this cute lamp, red pillows and candles on the mantle.  There is a little bit of red allover the room, but you don't feel swallowed in it. 

 

 

I love how this throw ( a quilt from HomeGoods) adds another pattern to the room and accents the curtains so well.

 

I wanted to pull out this quilt and just curl up for a movie and some popcorn. 

Thanks friend (as always!) for letting me and the boy invade your space, and for letting me practice with the new camera! 

So lovely, so done.....

Too late to turn back now.  One third of the carpet in the room is in the dumpster. 

Summer dreaming....

We were treated to a few "free" days at the beach this week, which means the Dad was in class for work and the boy and I got to hang out for free.  So worth it, even if for just a short time. 

I am much more in the "dreaming" phase of house stuff more than the "doing" phase of housework...summer is always busier than I imagine when I am planning those huge lists of fun things to do.  Boy do the weeks fly by! 

 

One thing absolutely cannot be left to the imagination though.  The carpet in our living room is definitely a nightmare, and needs to be struck from the to do list.  We don't have a replacement yet, but we will live with subfloor until we do, which is in the works.

We are trying to match the hardwoods that were put in the house when it was built.  I have a great contact at Carpets Plus here in town that is working with me to see that that happens.  But until that happens.....
"The first cut is the deepest".....and oh yeah, the first cut felt the best too!

I've decided to do as much of the "destruction" portion of the job as I can to save a substantial bit of money in the end: I'll keep you posted as to how much I end up saving and how much time it cost me.
Things I know I can do:  pull up carpet and tack strips, rip out padding and make sure all staples are removed.  At that point I'll have to decide if the placement of the shoe molding will be high enough or if that will need to be removed also.

Between the family room and the kitchen is the past homeowners DIY project of a built-in shelf until.  We decided we would rather have that space open, and find somewhere else for the junk that is contained therein (Hmmmmm....Goodwill anyone?). 

We are also going to remove the large white tiles in the tiny1/2 bathroom and continue the wood floor in there; I plan to demo that also myself. 

The theme of his weekend is "De-construction" and I'll admit: It's fun to bust up some old stuff and get it to hit the road.

Then it's time to start dreaming about the next ten projects.....

The summer "to-do list" .....

.....is not done.  The three things on my list for the last three days of school are not finished.  But to not focus on what is un-done, I will share with you what has happened!

The first two days of no-school were lazy, lazy and more lazy. Lots of time in pajamas and lots of screen time.  Yep I said it: Lots of screen time.  We sat and snuggled on the sofa for hours with our laptops, TV shows, Ipad and games.  It was lovely. 

The next week was VBS and full of learning, playdates and swimming. 

Next came baseball, with the start of an intense three weeks of practice for All Stars for the local 9-10 year old team. 

 

Baseball is every day right now, and we are loving every minute of great teammates, great coaches, and fun parents to spend the time with as they practice and play. 

Last week, on top of baseball, C spent the mornings at college! Our local community college sponsored a "College4Kids" program and he had a great time.  His class was making a Lego stop-action film using Frames5 software and a computer camera.  They built the sets, wrote the story line and finished filming their pieces in five days.  They learned what is good stop action as well as what constitutes "bloopers" and other mistakes.  Technology and creativity converged into a fun, interesting and educational week.

A very official certificate with the State seal proves he finished his first college class!  If only my college classes had been as fun and included Legos.....

And at the end of it all? Yep, boys do still get tired, and their puppies do express that they missed them.

"I regret not working"

Nope, that never came out of my mouth.  This quote comes from Lisa Heffernan in this interview about a blog post on  Huffington Post.  She talks about her regrets over being a stay at home mom for 20 years. 

I want to share my thoughts, not to argue her points, which are hers and therefore  makes them valid.  I read this article and think about moms that are sitting at home thinking "was this the right decision?" or those still on the precipice of trying to decide what is right for their families.  If they read this article and get a sick feeling in their stomach thinking "what if I regret this?" 

My only goal in writing this is to express a different opinion, mine alone, and to express appreciation for what I have along the way.
 
I would first hope that no one regrets the parenting choices they make.  Women have a hard time these days choosing between working and staying at home, working part-time or full-time, balancing work and family, family only etc.  There is so much stress in each situation, feeling like your not giving enough to the family if you are at work, the finances and college accounts if you're at home, and both if you try to do each part time.  You feel like you can't win.    The key is to be happy in whatever decision you make, and know that each is right, depending on what your family's situation is, the needs of your family being unique and one of a kind.   There is no right or wrong.

And to those moms out there that have a sick feeling is the pit of their stomach because the read the "I regret not working" article and are taking or have already taken a step away from a career, I want to share the following thoughts:

 She says that her "world narrowed":

... you begin to live in a world of women your own age with kids the same ages as your kids and your experiences really narrow the range of people you deal with narrows.
 

Maybe my experience differs because I was an "older" mom, one that had the horrible red "AMA" sticker on her obstetric folder signifying her "advanced maternal age", but I found that my world expanded.  Before Carter(or "BC" as we refer to it) I worked in a small office and saw the same co-workers every day.  When I became a stay at home mom, I got to know the neighbors on the street because we were walking up and down in the stroller many times a day.  I met moms on the playground who had PhD's is chemical engineering, physics and other things out of my realm of education that were fascinating to talk to.  Because of my age (39 if you're counting) I was surrounded by moms of different decades.  My world definitely expanded. 

 

 

I pretty much strapped on my helicopter blades and hovered over my kids"

Because I was with Carter every day, I felt my stress lower.  I had total control over his environment...which might make you think the helicopter blades are spinning around....but I found it to be quite the opposite.   I had choices every day with what we did, and those days included a lot of play dates, classes, and eventually a MOPS group that not only I joined, but he had his own class.  He spent time away from me at church, exercise group, preschool, and play dates eventually.  Because I had the time to be comfortable with the choices I was making, I felt so safe when he was being cared for by someone other than myself. 

 

 

 

About working part-time: ....is to keep a toe in the water, keep a finger in the water. I best say perhaps keep a pilot light under your professional life.  If you keep that pilot light going, transition back into work is aided.

 

I agree to a point.  After 15 years of working post college, I was the happiest girl ever the day I walked out of my office door.  Granted, I had more emotionally involved.  I never aimed to be a controller of an active non-profit; I never planned to work full time for 15 years before having children; I never planned to deal with the constant stress of infertility treatments and procedures while working full time: Yep, I was happy to walk out and be a mom and mom alone.  BUT....I will say I am grateful now for that experience and resume building time.  I have found it easier, now that I am ready to work, to find work on my schedule, one that works for me and my family.   I do value that career time I had, even though I didn't choose it. 

 

So my advice? I'm glad you asked! And yes, I realize no one asked, but just in case someone is reading this and trying to figure out if this stay at home mom business is going to be a mistake, I have this to share.

 

1. If you're feeling lonely: seek.  Our area has a parenting board on Yahoo, and I bet yours does too.  Search for parent/mom groups, MOPS groups, moms exercise groups in your areas and reach out.  You ARE NOT the only mom sitting at home alone with a little one, wishing she had another adult to talk to during the day. 
2. Call a local retirement home, assisted living facility, senior center or adult daycare.  Ask if you and your baby can visit sometime (assuming everyone is healthy).  Older adults love babies, and babies love the senior citizens.  Everyone will be smiling.  You will have a few seconds to listen to some amazing life stories while someone rocks your smiling baby. 
3. Volunteer.  Our church has a work day that provides day care while you make a difference in your community.  A few hours of sprucing up a failing home can really boost your mental well being.  And after doing your research, I bet your child is being loved on by a grandma or grandpa whose own grandchildren live too far away to hug on a regular basis.
4. Take a class, whether for credit or not.  Like photography?  Spend a few hours with like-minded adults and learn a new skill!  Added bonus?  All those baby pictures will be so much better!
5. Walk!  Keep moving. Enough said.
6. Pray. Worship. Find a church that will refresh your spirit on a regular basis.  And I guarantee you, you will find moms struggling with the same issues you are.  Look for us: we usually are sitting in the balcony trying to entertain wiggly children.  Jump right on in. 

Most important? Being a mom is hard.  There are so many choices we have.  None of those choices are wrong, and guilt doesn't really help anything.  Make the choices that work not only for your family but for you, and do the best that you can.  There really aren't any mistakes you can make if your child knows he or she is loved. 

Everything else will be just fine.